The horror in "Hide and Seek" was not the story; it was having to sit through it.
Robert DeNiro and Dakota Fanning are normally like superheroes -- using their special acting powers to make movies good -- but in "Hide and Seek" they must have run into some Kryptonite.
In this new horror film by director John Polson, the question is asked, why would someone write this crap?
Then it hit me.
It was a sorry attempt to make money, or some sort of torture device used to destroy the youth of today and kill off the old and weak. No matter what the reason was for the production of this film, the issue is there are many other ways to waste money ... believe me, I do it all the time.
DeNiro plays Dr. Callaway, a psychiatrist that can work out other people's problems. But when it comes to his own life, things are harder to fix. So Mrs. Callaway (Amy Irving) decided to start off the New Year by skipping all the resolutions and going straight to killing herself. Now, no matter what you have been told, killing yourself is not really the best problem-solver and, in most cases, the problems only get worst. For Emily (Dakota Fanning), these problems include going a little crazy and losing all social contact with the outside world.
The obvious solution that Dr. Callaway comes up with is a new atmosphere and a change from the big New York life to a quiet up-state New York town.
After getting settled in, Emily meets a new friend who is not quite what he seems. Charlie (the new friend) enjoys playing games with Emily, but no one ever sees him except for Emily. The normal invisible friend would be no concern for Dr. Callaway, but when Charlie starts writing death notes in the bathroom and killing people, that is when things get out of control. It is hard enough to stop a murderer, but when the person is invisible that makes things almost impossible.
Now the acting in this movie is not all that bad. Robert DeNiro and Dakota Fanning are both decent actors, but when you are working with crap it is hard to make it anything worth watching.
The main downfall of the film was the bad storyline and the real lack of horror.
I am not a big scary -- movie fan, but I would at least like to be scared some. I was thoroughly disappointed with the fact that there were really no jumpy moments throughout the whole film and the plot did not develop until late in the movie.
In the rare instance that you are considering wasting your time and money on "Hide and Seek," don't say that I didn't warn you. Or to make things interesting, get a little buzzed before hand. Since I have to give "Hide and Seek" a rating, I would have to give it one and a half pitchforks.
