I've spent the past two weeks having a very quiet nervous breakdown. My "to do" list is never-ending, I stay at school well past midnight at least twice a week and when I'm not editing or at my other job, I'm desperately chasing sources for my next story and trying to remember how to conjugate Spanish verbs in the subjunctive.
Even though I work 50-60 hours a week, I'm running out of money. My phone bill is past due, my car's radiator is about to explode and for the first time ever, I've taken out a loan.
My bed is unmade and my dishes are unwashed because I simply do not have the time to worry about it.
I know -- I need to relax. Maybe cut out a few activities. Sure. I'd love to, but slowing down isn't really an option and the only activity I can afford to cut is sleep. I can't quit school, I won't quit this magazine and as much as I'd love to quit my retail job, my roommate enjoys it when I pay my rent.
Even with financial aid -- thank God for benevolent private donors and Federal Pell Grants -- I simply cannot afford to take it easy.
Like the students in this week's cover story ("The Great Divide," page 8) I'm part of a group of middle class students struggling to make ends meet in the face of tuition increases and the rising cost of living.
And as tuition climbs higher, the federal government is busy cutting spending for financial aid and Arizona offers virtually no state funded financial relief. Only four other states in the country ignore the financial needs of their university students the way Arizona does.
It's time that the powers that be stop talking about the importance of higher education and start funding it. Those of us who are driven to succeed should have access to enough funding to do so without having to run ourselves ragged.
Until then, I'll be in the fetal position under my desk, talking myself through another stress-induced mental freak out.
