Homeless people have the easiest gig on the planet. Sit there and beg, stand up and beg, follow someone for a few steps and beg.
But what do homeless people do to earn my money and pity? I go to work five days a week to earn a paycheck. Does a homeless person clock in to take your hard-earned coins? Those dimes and nickels could be used to do your laundry, buy a soda or play "Dance Dance Revolution."
But beggars expect everyone to feel sorry for their living situation and pony up some quarters for their next bottle of Jack Daniels or cheeseburger, no fries. They lazily put their hands out, expecting, well, a handout.
I really don't care if it's hard living on the streets. I don't care how hot it is or how little you eat or how many times you were beaten as a child. There are thousands more people who work all day for a pile of beans, feed their children and drudge on miserably because there is no way out. I bet they would love to get money for doing nothing, but dignity probably gets in the way.
Maybe, just maybe, there's a reason they're homeless. Maybe they're the burnouts, alcoholics and acid-popping hippies you knew in high school. Maybe they were college students who drank and smoked weed, but when everyone around them turned in their beer and bongs for Zinfandel and Zoloft, they kept doing expensive drugs without getting a job.
Giving a homeless person a quarter is not going to help them at all. You know what 25 cents is going to do? It keeps them begging on the street and makes you feel good about yourself. If you really want to help homeless people, donate your money to St. Joseph the Worker — an organization that helps homeless people become self-sufficient with real, permanent jobs. Look them up.
Every time you fork over a quarter to a hobo, you are giving a stranger means to buy anything he or she wants. That bum on the corner with the Vietnam jacket could buy drugs and kidnap a child. That lady telling her four-child sob story could be simultaneously selling her daughter for sex in the back alley. You don't know. For all you know, all the homeless beggars in the world could be terrorists gathering funds to launch all the puppies, kittens and cute babies into space. I will never know if that guy out on University Drive really got tossed out of his house or if he lives with a friend who cooks meth.
But I'm not unreasonable. I went to a Phoenix Suns game recently, and after the game, I saw a man playing bongos outside the arena. I gave him about 80 cents. That's a job; I paid him for his musical services.
And that's all I ask from homeless people: Do a little something for that money — recite poetry, sing a song, dance a little. After all, every person is a special and unique snowflake with some sort of talent, right?
Yes, it degrades you as a person, but so does working at Harkins, McDonald's or nearly any other occupation in the world. I'd rather give my extra cash to a 40-year-old at Burger King than a bum who thinks his mere existence entitles him to any amount of my money.
No, Chris cannot spare some change, but he can spare some time to respond to your e-mails. Send them to: cogino@asu.edu.
