Listening or viewing a campaign speech usually involves some jerk getting behind a podium to make promise after promise to his or her listeners.
Almost like a made-for-TV movie, a campaign speech is melodramatic and predictable, nearly mechanical.
“It definitely becomes formulaic,” professor of political science Patrick Kenney says.
Kenney says politicians give what is called a stump speech at most times.
“They give the same general speech depending on the topic all across the country,” he says, “And then they modify it for whatever audience they are before.”
It looks as though almost any man with a nice suit and tidied hairstyle or any lady in a high-and-mighty pant suit could make this kind of speech.
It doesn’t take much to address a crowd eager to hear what someone with a big, white smile and shoulder pads has to say. It’s as easy as 1, 2, 3... through 5.
Step 1: The Look
Teeth whitening, dry cleaning, maybe get a base at a tanning salon, neatly groomed hair, and shiny shoes. Whatever it takes, just make sure you look better than your audience.
Step 2: Why Can’t We Be Friends?
Address the crowd as “my friends” or “my fellow Americans” and hold your arms out — don’t lose that smile!
Step 3: The Speech
Grab that thesaurus. Make sure to use a lot of big words that will confuse the audience, the trick being no one in the crowd wants to admit he or she doesn’t really know what you’re talking about. You’ve got ‘em now.
Step 4: Dealing with Hecklers
There is such a thing called the “Heckler’s Veto.” If the crowd doesn’t buy what you’re selling, they can heckle you right out from behind that podium.
Step 5: The Sign Off
Be sure to remind everyone how awesomely rocktacular America is and they’re putty in your hands. Don’t forget the big wave as you exit the stage and you’re as good as governor.
Reach the reporter at lauren.cusimano@asu.edu.
