Listen to the Article:
Students have spoken, and they need help. From dating to friendship to finances, it's clear no one knows what they're doing. Luckily, I know everything, and I'm here to help. Consider me your college expert, here to sift through all your problems and provide you with the right advice to better yourself and the students around you.
We published a form, and students responded with their qualms, questions and queries. For the sake of consistency and to ease any potential embarrassment, all responses are anonymous. Though I am the expert, I also collected advice from fellow students to provide you with a well-rounded library of guidance.
Disclaimer: Following the advice in this article is not a cure-all; please seek professional help because, let's be honest, you might need to. Some responses have been edited for clarity.
Dear Abby: I'm tired of being the practice girl
"I feel like I'm just the girl guys practice with before finding the girl they actually wanna be with. Two of my big exes are planning on getting married soon. How do I stop being the practice girl? How do I find guys who actually like me?"
Dear "practice girl,"
First, I think it would help to reframe the situation. Dating is inherently practice. People spend time together to source compatibility with intention. You're not going to be compatible with everyone and everyone won't be compatible with you. And remember — you're also practicing. To set yourself up for dating success, it could help to define what you're looking for and prioritize those things in the people you date. You already are the girl someone wants to be with. Now pick your head up, dust off your shoes and charge headfirst into the dating world with confidence and clarity. Know what you want and what you deserve.
Readers' responses:
"You live for yourself first. I am really big on making sure my needs are met first before worrying about what I need in a partner. I am too young to be worrying about how others see me and what men want from me. If you live your life for yourself, then the man will come in due time."
"Instead of looking at past relationships as proof that you weren't liked, look at them as experiences that taught you a lot about yourself and the person you want to be with. This gives you an opportunity to see those past relationships in a positive light, guiding you to the right person. The first step in finding a person who is going to love and respect you for you is to love the person you are. We attract what we put out into the world. You are not the practice girl, you never were. You are on the right path, defining for yourself what you want out of a loving, respectful relationship."
Dear Abby: My ex-guy friend won’t come pick up his stuff
"My roommate and I had this really close guy friend. The three of us were like a family for two years. He would stay the night with us because we were closer to campus. We even bought him a mattress so he wouldn't have to be on the couch. I would joke that he and my roommate were like twins who couldn't decide who was the oldest. In September, he and I had a friendship breakup that left me feeling thrown away and that our entire friendship was cheap. He left some clothes and a gaming system at our place. He reached out to my roommate asking if he could get his stuff in January, then made no plans to grab it. My roommate has messaged him multiple times telling him to come get them. He's either not shown up on the agreed time and date or claimed to have overslept. That was a month ago. We don't think he has any intention of picking his stuff up. We're tired of hanging on to it and want to get rid of all of it. Any suggestions on how to get rid of his stuff or on how to handle the situation?"
Dear "friendship breakup,"
The devil in me wants to say: BURN IT. But ... I'm not letting the devil win today. While I'm a huge believer in burning the belongings of those who have wronged you (I have experienced deep emotional healing after burning keepsakes from a sorry man), in this situation, I would recommend figuring out where he lives and leaving it outside his door — in a totally normal and not creepy way. Make sure to package up his stuff really cute before you drop it off. A trash bag would be nice or a repurposed box, perhaps? You could even decorate the box and write: "YOUR SHIT YOU NEVER PICKED UP." If that doesn't work, send him a final text that's equal parts kind and assertive. Something like: "If you don’t come pick up your shit, I'm giving it away." If he doesn't respond, give it to someone in need. I'm sure there's a child out there who would love some new t-shirts and a gaming system.
Readers' responses:
"This calls for an ultimatum. You don't own a storage unit — that's your home, and unnecessary objects or humans can't just be there. Text him one last time and then leave it on the curb. You've done your part, and you never signed up for taking care of someone else's bullshit — material or emotional."
"Could you, or someone else, drop his stuff off at his place for you? It seems like he's using his stuff as a way to control. Remove the opportunity for him to control the situation, and instead, you take control. While it would be tempting to give him one last chance to pick up his stuff, the bigger thing to do here is to take back your own power. Let him be flaky and disrespectful, and instead, you'll show up proactive and considerate."
Dear Abby: I'm addicted to coffee
"I have a problem buying coffee every day. When I drive to campus, I have this birdie on my shoulder telling me I need Starbucks. Because I'm in school and not working, I know I shouldn't indulge, but I tell myself I need it to have a good day or need it to study. Not to mention the coffee or matcha is $8-$10. What should I do about this? Should I wean myself off or try something new?"
Dear coffee addict,
I, too, am a fellow coffee lover. My bloodstream is a constant flow of caffeine. I get it. To save money, I would suggest investing in an at-home coffee option. Spending a little more on a machine will save you money in the long run. With the tariffs looming, coffee prices might go up. No college student can afford a $12 cup of coffee. If that's twice a day for a year, that’s $8,760! You might be thinking, "I can't make it like Starbucks can." And to that I say, YES YOU CAN. Experiment. Buy the syrups, milk and coffee. Find a cute little cup to put it in. You will end up preferring it over Starbucks, and because of that, you might be able to pay off your loans. Plus, you will help the environment by reducing single-use plastic and defunding big corporations that contribute to the planet's demise. Go you! I hope this helps.
Readers' responses:
"Take a different route or brew your own. If anything, drinking coffee or matcha in the morning will stress out your gut and the prolonged habit of caffeine consumption will give you hemorrhoids. There's studies backing this up. Maybe drink coffee once every other day, so you can begin to reduce the expenditure."
"You need to find something that brings you joy in place of this routine. Find a cool cup you like and a drink you enjoy that you can make from home. You shouldn't take away this indulgence. Instead, replace it with something better. Learn to make a special drink that you look forward to every day. To take it a step further, if you're motivated to save money, you could put all the money you would typically spend on coffee in a savings account and watch it grow. Also, still treat yourself to a Starbucks every once in a while!"
Dear Abby: How do I date as a gay man?
"As a gay man on campus, I'm finding it extremely hard to date. I've tried the apps, and I've tried avoiding the apps, and all I've ever gotten is a few romantic dead ends and a lot of stress and self-criticism. I feel like it's so much easier for straight people to find people to date, but I really struggle to meet anyone who I like and who likes me. How can I find my happily ever after (or even just a first date)?"
Dear "happily ever after,"
Dating sucks — whether you're straight or gay. To start, stop comparing your lack of dates to a straight person's perceived abundance of them. I know many straight people (ahem, straight men) who can't get a date to save their life. I would also expand your scope of where you can find connection. Apps are a tool, but they don't work for everyone. It's okay if they're not working for you. Try getting involved in a queer book club or going to a queer film screening or hitting up the queer bars if you're 21. Find spaces where you are not only accepted, but celebrated. Let romance be a byproduct and prioritize community first. You never know — you could make a new friend who introduces you to a friend of theirs who ends up being your "happily ever after." Open yourself up to finding connections in unexpected places and make new friends along the way.
Readers' responses:
"First off, be confident in yourself and your gayness. Second, never stop putting yourself out there and meeting new people. On ASU's campus, there are so many events where you can chat with people. Just start off trying to make new friends. One connection leads to another and you will find your person."
"I understand that too well, being from the community myself. I've come to terms with the fact that I am more than a choice. Having strictly set priorities and expectations for yourself really helps. Once you see yourself the way you would like the world to perceive you, there's no going back. It's a superpower in itself."
Edited by Savannah Dagupion, Leah Mesquita and Audrey Eagerton.
This story is part of The Best of ASU, which was released on April 30, 2025. See the entire publication here.
Reach the reporter at amwilt@asu.edu and follow @AbigailMWilt on X.
Like State Press Magazine on Facebook, follow @statepressmag on X and Instagram and read our releases on Issuu.
Abigail is a junior studying journalism and mass communication with a minor in english literature. This is her third semester with The State Press. She has also worked at the ASU School of Music, Dance and Theatre.
