Recently, there has been a lot of nipple-twisting and butt-pinching going on in the organic food laboratories at the University of Newcastle in northeast England. Why are these scientists so giddy, you ask? Well, it appears that potato growers and lovers in Europe may have found their savior in the form of a purple potato.
According to The Associated Press, this potato, being so “obscure” that it has no name, is what scientists are supposing may be the, “[K]ey to solving the biggest economic obstacle facing the organic farming industry.”
For those of you who have failed to memorize each new and exciting development in the horticultural world, farmers and organic food enthusiasts have been going at it with a very formidable and recurring adversary: a ruthless, spiteful little temptress that goes by the name of blight.
Potato blight is one of the most devastating plant diseases that has ever surfaced and, according to scientists, has, “[C]hanged the course of history.”
The fungus, an airborne strain, first infects the leaves of the plant, then ruthlessly proceeds on to the goods. It is being fought through the application of copper-based fungicides, mixtures that are potentially toxic.
The pest destroys crops worth millions of pounds each year and deters many farmers from growing potatoes, laughing heartlessly at each farmer who spits out the wheat and hangs up the straw hat for the final time.
Though I must admit I am strangely attracted to this little vixen, enough about the problem, let’s focus on the cure!
Hailing from Hungary, the super purple potato is almost totally resistant to potato blight, making treatment with fungicide absolutely and unquestionably unnecessary.
Thus far, the best blight has been able to do to against any crop of this new potato is to produce a few small spots on some otherwise healthy leaves — and even this to only a very small fraction of the crop.
After comparing the newcomer to other “normal” potatoes, scientists testified that the product of the Purple Patch, “[H]ad the best vigor — it grew like a weed on a very low-nutrient soil.”
Fantastic — a potato that grows like a weed. Let’s just hope that it doesn’t taste like one, too!
Other promising candidates for the distinction of spud of the century may still surface, but it seems that the boys and girls over at the U of Newcastle are putting their chips on purple.
However, (for those early-years “Saved By the Bell” aficionados) before you go pull a Zack Morris and mindlessly invest thousands of dollars into potato stock (if such a thing even exists), Professor Carlo Leifert, from the University of Newcastle points out that, “The potato still has to pass the taste test.”
Hey Carlo, let’s be real here, how hard could it possibly be to taste like a potato — a vegetable which practically never gets consumed without some sort of additive?
What’s he going to say, “Nope, sorry, this one’s just too flavorful, we’re looking for something just a shy above complete and utter tastelessness, and this just won’t do!”
We all know that any potato, brown, yellow, purple or checkered is predestined for a hot, sizzling cauldron of oil and lots of salt and butter anyway, so let’s eat!
Actually, a source at the university said, “Some of the researchers have had a nibble and they said it tastes fine.”
Yes, all of this just seconds before the scientists collectively covered the entire floor on which they were standing with tens of gallons of their own stomach contents.
All right, I’ll admit that the last part was a bit of what I like to call “fancy writing,” but it’s hard for me to believe in a potato being rejected for tasting anything other than bad.
Any way you season it, cook it and especially slice it, it appears that this development may quickly rekindle the flame illuminating the organic food industry, which I’m sure will cause one little fungus to sleep on a wet pillow for quite some time.
Michael Pameditis is a computer science senior. Reach him at mike.pameditis@asu.edu.
