Wake up, ASU! The fragile image of this University is going to change drastically in the next few years. No more party school, ladies and gents.
While you read this, sipping your latte and waiting for class to begin, the administration is planning a revolutionary endeavor to get worldwide recognition for this dusty University in the desert.
Yesterday, a bunch of people in suits grabbed a shovel and broke ground for the launch of the Arizona Biodesign Institute. This means two things:
Parking in Lot 44 will disappear, and then there will be huge honkin' buildings in the way. It also means that ASU is one step closer to being a technological monstrosity.
This is all well and good, but one question remains: What is Biodesign? We hear about it everywhere, but its description is cryptic. Unless you are in the field of nanotechnology or biotechnology, you are probably left in the dark with images of "Attack of the Killer Tomatoes" in your head.
We picture scientists in white lab coats developing tiny robots living on our skin cells or genetically engineering a bagpipe-playing potato. Mmmm.
"Our goal is to build teams of excellence that will really make this a mecca for [biotechnology and nanotechnology] research," said Charles Arntzen, the founding director of the Arizona Biodesign Institute.
"Research what?" you ask.
For starters, scientists will explore the way the body works on the molecular level to make your life a whole lot more livable.
Was your arm amputated? Afraid of getting an incurable disease? Is there a funky chromosome in your genes that shows you can't dance (Whiteman's disease)?
With the help of the Arizona Biodesign Institute, you can get a new arm, ward off wicked germs and put some funk in that step. Hell, they can even clone a person who actually understands this stuff.
Well, maybe that is a little far-fetched. The University is spending all this time developing the Arizona Biodesign Institute, boasting about all the opportunities for advancement, convincing us that the new image of ASU will be of technology and science.
Fine, but just give us a clue as to what it all means, in English, por favor. We want to be proud of this school when we finally graduate - and this is certainly something to be proud of - but first we must know what is going on in our campus.
Please, Dr. Crow. Inform us. Give us details. How does this affect us? If you need help, just imagine what you would tell clueless journalism students who took Chemistry 101 for their required science credit.
Don't fluff it up or speak in vague terms. We want to know. Unless, of course, you don't know, either.
Have a clue about biotechnology? Post your opinion in the forum below.
