I think we need to hold an intervention for 2003's "Underworld" sequel, "Underworld: Evolution." Someone needs to sit this movie down and say, "Look, we get that you're dark, we get that you're occasionally scary and we get that you were apparently sponsored by Hot Topic, but could you please lighten up?"
This overly self-indulgent B-movie, with all of its special effects and overcomplicated nonsense plot is, for lack of a better term, hollow.
The film picks up only hours after where its predecessor left off. Our leading lady, Selene (played by Kate Beckinsale), is a vampire on the lamb accompanied by her werewolf-vampire companion, Michael (played by Scott Speedman).
In the last film, Selene killed Viktor (Bill Nighy), the vampire responsible for murdering her family and turning her to the nocturnal side. And now she's feeling the consequences. This means "Underworld" is taken from the gothic setting of the original and transplanted to, of all places, the woods -- apparently an appropriate place for the characters to run around in leather.
After this there are several flashbacks and plot twists, all in an attempt to conceal the fact that there's no real point to the whole movie.
The film's weakest point is that it lacks the certain wink-to-the-camera that could have made it as memorable as the films it tries to imitate, namely "Blade" and "The Matrix." Instead, we're handed a pretentious backstory and a love story so bad that it makes "Star Wars Episode II" look like "Sleepless in Seattle."
As for Beckinsale's performance, it's great for what it is: looking pretty for the close-ups, and convincing the audience that she really could kill an 8-foot werewolf. In the end, it's her charisma that carries the film.
As for the others, including Speedman and Nighy, when they're not sleepwalking through their roles, they seem to be searching for some sort of logic for their actions.
Ultimately, "Underworld: Evolution" will appease two kinds of people -- those that can make sense of the plot and those that don't care about plots. As for the rest of us, we can only hope that the next "Underworld" movie (and yes, I don't think this thing is going to go away yet) can steal a little bit more light-heartedness from the movies it wants to imitate.
Reach the reporter at shaun.capehart@asu.edu.