Investigation into GSG concluded as students express concerns about dysfunction

There's been a long-standing joke on the internet referring to certain traits as hallmarks of "male manipulators." When I realized that those traits are similar to how my boyfriend behaves, I knew I had to set the record straight.

Before you call me delusional, just know I had a long conversation with him about this. He told me those people were just crazy, and that I'm crazy if I believe them.

My boyfriend told me the phrase "male manipulators" is hurtful and dangerous to men, the most persecuted demographic in modern America. Let me show you all the ways in which my boyfriend's masculinity is not performative.

Culture

Usually, the phrase "male manipulator" is levied against male listeners of certain music or enjoyers of particular movies. I was shocked and offended to learn almost all of them are my boyfriend's favorites.

TV Girl comes up frequently. I don't think my boyfriend could live without the angelic sound of "Lovers Rock" or the quaint lyricism of "Talk to Strangers."

Just because my boyfriend's favorite songs include violence doesn't mean I should be afraid of him. It's endearing. 

Then, of course, there's Radiohead.

READ MORE: Insight: I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo. But does my music make me a loser?

His identity as a self-proclaimed "creep" is cute. It makes me feel very safe and never like I'm in imminent danger.

His favorite movies are "The Wolf of Wall Street," "American Psycho," "Joker" and "Fight Club." Sue him for appreciating male representation on screen. It's just intersectionality.

And yes, he does log on to Letterboxd every hour. Not all of us can be self-professed expert movie critics.

Even though he's an IT specialist who gets sleepy at 9 p.m. (or 9:05 if I'm lucky), that hasn't stopped him from trying to emulate his role model: Patrick Bateman.

I will admit that the ax in the corner of our bedroom can be a little disconcerting.

Daily routine

My beloved boyfriend has meticulously ordered his routine to be the most productive. Adorable!

The cold shower is the key to his day. If the water temperature gets any warmer than tepid, his entire day is ruined.

If that befalls him, he calls out of work sick and asks me to order a Labubu.

When we eat breakfast, he has AirPods in so he can listen to Joe Rogan or Andrew Tate while he munches on his cereal and drinks matcha. 

READ MORE: Satire: Dating in the age of the Trump manosphere

Every so often, he removes one AirPod so he can ask me if he's "Machiavellian."

"Yes, babe, I love how you make moves in silence," I always say. 

Before he leaves for work, he sits on the floor to meditate on his affirmations. I usually hear him saying things like these:

• "I have no master, and I take orders from no one."
• "I'm a creep. I'm a loser."
• "People hate me because they're ugly and I'm strong and beautiful."
• "Nothing can hurt me."

It's giving inner peace.

Our relationship

When I started dating my boyfriend, the first thing I asked was whether he had been to therapy.

He said he had gone once, and I was thrilled. It didn't even matter when he later clarified that he meant physical therapy.

Our communication style is so #couplegoals. Whenever he's mad at me, he stomps his feet until I apologize. Whenever I'm mad at him, he explains every reason why I shouldn't be upset unless I've become an objectively wicked person.

Then he smiles and asks me to buy him a Labubu again.

I love how rational he is!

In the past, I've struggled to find men who can actually talk about their feelings. With him, though, that's never been a problem.

He's always telling me how my actions make him feel so I can improve. I'm currently working on not triggering his past mental health issues when I set boundaries, such as "Don't spend all our money on Labubus."

After all, he is traumatized from when his mom once made him take out the trash as a kid. Can you even blame him for not doing any chores around the apartment?

If my boyfriend is a male manipulator, then I don't know what manipulation is. One thing I do know, though, is that I love my big ol' creep, my lovable matcha drinker, my Patrick Bateman fanatic. 

What's not to love?

Editor's note: The opinions presented in this column are the author's and do not imply any endorsement from The State Press or its editors.

Edited by Kasturi Tale, Senna James, Sophia Braccio and Pippa Fung.

Reach the reporter at coyer1@asu.edu and follow @carstenoyer on X. 

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